Warning (because this one is painful)

Quiet down

It’s just a dream

It’s just a scene

Fabricated by your misconceptions

Of everyone else about you

But reality proves to be different

No one ever stays

Everyone leaves

And it’s my fucking filthy hands

Pushing you away

My crooked teeth

Whistling the tune of your leaving

My warped mind

Sending signals to never come back

Someone just stay

Please stay




Because I don’t know who I am

And I’m scared to fucking death


The last time I’ll ever write for you


I stopped dreaming last night for the last time

I put it all out there

I put it all on the line

I hope it was worth it

I hope it was worth it

I hope

We visit the bottle when times get hard

Like an old friend you didn’t want to see

Because it feels so right but it feels so wrong

Because you know it’s for the worst reasons

Like a funeral but no one had to die

I said I loved you the only way I knew how

But you never felt the same wings flutter in your chest

It was all in my head

Now I have to let you go

I said I loved you for the last time

I have to let you go

I gotta let go


Let’s play hide and seek

With everything you once held dear

She’s every record spinning

And he’s just the song

That she skips

Because it hurts her so

The words meant nothing

Because you walked away anyway

But anyways

You must have written that chapter

A thousand and half drafts

But the pen never made contact

Because you were scared

There’s no turning back

And when it’s done

It’s done

The scars on your legs

The marks on your wrists

Take you to the part

When loneliness met you in a dark hall

Filled with nothing

I’d rather see your eyes cry

Than see you bleed

Because that’s how much she means to me

If she asks, I’m there

If she speaks, I’ll listen

Because I won’t lose another

To a damaged love machine

All because the world wants to play hide and seek

Instead of loving those in need

This is the part of the story when you love yourself

This is the one with the happy ending

This is where I take you home

This rough draft should have stayed dead

I don’t like the things you do

It’s who you are

I’ve been settling for not okay

Because it’s not so bad

I spend my heart

Loving everyone

Except for myself

I spend my heart

I’ve spent it all

Now we’re running on empty

I looked out the window

The late after midnight sky

It screamed your name

I’ve never wanted to hear you more

But your selfish eyes

And desperate hair

They say “I’ve always wanted you”

I’ll carry your burdens

They’re not as heavy as mine

We never see the light so I’ll make my own

I’ll make it my own

Because your selfish eyes and desperate hair

I’ll always spend my heart on everyone

But me

This season has to end

Or my roots are dead

2# deltitnU

We weren’t meant to be alone
We swallow sadness with our medication

Because the melancholy helps it go down
I am the ocean

To the shipwrecked me
You are the river

Guiding hope 

Filling my cup

You fill me up
But I can’t see

I can’t see

Because you’re close but out of reach 


You used to be me
Nothing feels real

Nothing feels right
We weren’t meant to be alone

We weren’t meant to be alone



This world wasn’t meant for me
I saw you 

You saw me

A broken fucking machine
I don’t know how to be

But you just are

We weren’t meant to be alone 

Untitled 2017

Forget what you know about lonelines. You haven’t seen anything yet.

The times get harder. The tides get stronger. The world gets darker.

I was so sure that you knew who I was, but you don’t. You don’t. 

I swear to God you knew.

Same day in and out, I brush the hair from my face to see that nothing’s changed.

The nights get longer. The tides get stronger. The world, so much darker.

Yet again, a dreamer, setting sail to find the place that feels new and familiar at the same time.

You’ll know it’s right when the moon leads you home. 

It’ll finally lead you home.

[scattered lines]

The sun doesn’t bring me joy

Because I know that the day has just begun
I’d rather stay invisible
They won’t know the color of my eyes

And I won’t know what it’s like to try to be loved again
I wait for the moon to come and wind me down

Where my thoughts aren’t so loud

My insecurities aren’t exposed

And my dreams still show like that late night movie you watch to fall asleep
She drinks her wine like most drink their coffee



And at the wrong time with the worst thoughts flooding her mind
She’s a beauty, but all she sees is where she wants to be and how she’s not there

Wear the perfect disguise

Get the attention of all the guys

But she knows that it won’t last

She’s just dreaming and it will all end soon

The scars on her wrists remind her
She doesn’t know he loves her and shares similar flaws with shades of sadness and hopeful opportunities 

But she’ll never truly know

Because he’s just a friend

And in her mind he just wants to fix her
I just wish you knew

You’re perfect the way you are