Once more with feeling

One more notch 

And you’ll feel something

One more touch and you’ll breathe

One more night and you’ll be living
With each passionate exchange

You recycle your words

Your motions
What a time to be alive

I’m just the open door 

You’ll never walk through

The one you’ll never remember 
Every night it feels right

For a moment

The loneliness cured by a bandage

Of bullshit lines
Just one more night

Just once more for the feeling

Just one more notch
And maybe they won’t notice I’m alone

Day 9,706

Day 9,706
Almost at a loss for words

Never certain of what should leave my mind

And creep out of my mouth

For fear it’d change it all
It’d change everything
Every moment since the first

I’ve seen a new shade of you

You sing a melody

It becomes an instant lullaby

For all who listen 

For all who love
9,706 days and counting

Until I recap from then to now

All the times I’ve given up, had luck, or fucked up
Here’s to hope

That we find you someday

And that we forget to keep track

Because it doesn’t matter anymore 
Until then

I still count the days

I still know my name
Where the hell do I go from here?

9a.m. Tuesday Morning

Dreams and memories collide Past lives and loves meet and speak

An alliteration in my mind
This heart beats but it knows pain

It knows every word

Time and time again

Shame
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I’ve scrubbed for days

But my hands are unclean
There’s a sunset

That I’ll never forget

There’s a sunrise

That I’ve always had regret

When our eyes met

Fists clenched

Hearts beatings

Out of our chests
I’ll never forget how your lips knew mine by name

The Lonely Boy

The lonely boy cried at nightWhile his mother gets beat 

And she thinks it’s her fault

She always thinks she’s in the wrong

He feels helpless, powerless
Such is life
The lonely boy has only friends that are imaginary or related

He’s too quiet

He’s too strange 
The lonely boy gets old enough to shave

Only to realize it doesn’t matter

Nobody ever stays

His best friend is a notebook that he scribbles every thought, every creative line

Hoping to find some sense of validation

Self-worth all the while he still holds his pen the wrong way
The lonely boy watches as his family moves away

Fearing to lose what few friends he’s gained

He stays behind
He finds and loses love often

He always thinks it’s his fault

He’s too emotional

He falls too hard

He says all the right and wrong things

At all the wrong and right times
The lonely boy has greys in his hair

Only to realize it doesn’t really matter

I’m still alone

His friends are mostly married, with children, or growing apart
Depression’s got the best of the lonely boy 

As he writes these words

Pulled over on the side of the road

Music surrounding his ears

Singing by himself

He’s always singing by himself

Because no one really knows him

And he already knows
No one ever stays

Nothing stays the same

It’s the little things that keeps him going

The lonely boy is now a man
He just wants to feel loved but he fears he asks too much

Grey

You’re out of sight

But in my mind

Startled awake

I debate my dreams

Fact or fiction

Real or superstition 
I fall into grey

The place where things are never 

What they seem
We chase the stars

Hoping for just an ounce of joy

A moment that we can accept

A time we’ll never forget
I fall into the grey

Things are never black or white

RIP 2016

Here comes the New YearReady, aim, fire
To take away the past

The moments that’d never last

The tears that we’ve cried

The times we felt alive
Somebody once said

That these days are dead

And gone

Live for today

To hell with yesterday 
Here comes the New Year

Ready

Aim

Wildfire
Maybe this year

We’ll find out way

Maybe this time

We’ll be fine

Maybe this year

You’ll be mine
Here comes my year

Winter’s Warmth

Look at starsThey say

Follow your dreams 

they say
But my dreams

Are fleeting with the winter’s warmth
I saw a shooting star for the first time

I wished you’d still be here with me

Marveling like I did when we began
In my dreams we began

Again and again

We began

We begin
If I followed 

Like they said

If I marveled like we did
I’d set sail

I’d set sail

And never come back again